Ideasrexoids 70 < 75
Collection made in early 2020 with corresponding dreams that influenced the awaken state
Ideasrexoid 70 Dream dreamed with purity above and underneath but grayness around me, Acrylic on canvas 2020
Dream dreamed on 1st and 2nd of July/28th lunar and 29th lunar day It seems China robbed me of my dreams, I have been waking so early due to the sun rising much earlier as it is a different time zone for me compared to what I am used to that most dreams evaporated into the smoke of memory, slowly running away from me, getting absorbed by my subconscious. Everyone’s subconscious is like an ocean or a space containing all the planets, infinitely spacious but at the same time empty. It requires a key in order to enter certain regions. It seems the dreams often possess those keys but we have to find out the combinatorial set that saves fragments so this post will contain the fragments that I captured in the last few days and work from there towards my ideasrexoids, posts on futurism and society and so on. I believe the core of us somewhere inaccessible deep down in the subconscious mind, we hold the world so valuable and so forgotten by our modern society. Dream no1. Turquoise sea, I am in a train, the dusk is approaching but I want to experience the small towns in the Mediterranean region of the world. They are all lined up fronting the sea, next to each other, like little soldiers standing to the test of time and history that shaped them in a certain way, mostly Venetian build. The design is the reflection of the way of thinking and Venetians thoughts were along the line of ellegance and functionality as is possible with so much stone. My train goes along all of those small towns and I am thinking how to go back, but then I find myself getting lost in thoughts just looking at the transparent water. I wake up. Dream no.2 I see a piano from underneath, somebody is playing a polonaise by Chopin. Normally I never listen to or play Chopin, it was doing to the people the same thing algorithms are doing now, manipulating their emotions for the sake of being liked. I snap out of this and I am entering a different world now, it is full of stairs, probably under the impression of the Great Wall, but this is also a futuristic world. Houses are in the mid air, connected by numerous stairs from each other also flying driverless machines that transport back and forth. The transporation is subtle, not visible, not buzzing, not disturbing our senses. There is peace and fantastic energy we even think of the fact that maybe it is too boring. Our minds have to compensate for the absence of events and external stimulation. The human nature always missing something, or rather, maybe it is the self improvement mechanism that wouldn’t have developed a civilization if it wasn’t that way, faulty or not. Suddenly I am at the waterfront I am delighted, but I see a huge amount of blood emerging fast to the top of the water. Water is not very clear so I can’t see what is it from, but then I see a great white shark in full magnificence and it is fierce. I see a seal and P on the stairs that go into the water, but they start running towards me and the shark jumps out and is trying to catch, I go towards them and it is a situation full of horror, but finally I did something to slow down the seal and the human is saved but at the sacrifice or natural selection of an animal. I wake up. Dream dreamed on 11th of July, 9th lunar day We are group of people on a boat but it is also a building, observing something precious. I can’t really see it remember what that is but I know that it is very important. It is one of the substances of life, I don’t know how it is kept or even how it looks like, but all of us are around the table standing and looking at it. We move to different times and space and observe different elements to and suddenly it feels strange. Some man looks at Vesna in a very hostile way, he insults her, without being too direct. She tries to respond back but it is not strong enough. I pay notice and see a spirit that talked this man into insulting her. I go after the spirit and it withdraws to his sleeping place which is just a shelf against the wall, hanging in the uneven way. I capture him with my immaterial hand and confront again. No talk, we use telepathy here, and he stars crying, he is genuinely sorry for the mischief. I really the place is ripe for mischief that is why Balkans can’t progress. It is just plainly and simply furtive ground for something like that.
Ideasrexoid 71 darkness of the water cloaked in nameless color blue, Acrylic on canvas 2020
Dream dreamed on 26th of July/24th lunar day It all starts with roaming around, discovering, searching, the warms and suspense of a moment before traveling, but it lasts, it is not so temporal this time.I am going downstairs, it is a hidden area of a building, there is a key which was handed to me by a creature that looks like a kangaroo, it is very kind and neutral, doesn’t want much interaction, I am delighted because I am getting exhausted by all the interaction, I go with the key and I open the studio of nine the less but Matisse, a great nemesis of Picasso. The paintings are all organized on the tables, there is only artificial light to bring out the best of the internal light a human can convey in a painting. I am exploring different rooms, they are all designed in a modern way, suddenly I feel like I don’t belong in this world of colors. My world is more structural but without colors I feel like I am losing the touch with the spiritual, my dream finishes in one of the smallest rooms of this studio, where I am contemplating the moment of now that lasts forever. I am wondering what is happening as I discover all the different options, alternatives for deeper meaning while living on this planet. Suddenly the planet is so small, I am looking at it as if it was a dot, then I realize indeed it is a dot, it is smaller than dust, because the stars are the dust. They are so dense and yet far apart, standing in their dignity of distance. The space makes us respect things much more maybe that is why it is invented, the condition on living on this dot is always about space, time and gravity. We are bound to earth, but Earth isn’t bound to us, we will not be bound by it very soon thanks to the organized thinking. We are on the way of self sufficiency, technologically but psychologically we are still hanging in between the melancholic cry for the times past and the dreadful fear from the future. We are all born optimist but somehow on the way become pessimist. It is almost like the fuel of love gets exhausted and bitterness takes it’s place, is this something we should learn in school, if schools are to survive the technological revolution that we are all witnessing, as learning becomes ubiquitous thanks to internet and infinite possibilities. Ultimately we all love each other when we are born, as we make first steps into the world but then we sadly build the expectations of reciprocity and that usually ruins lives. Maybe the care of parents and those nearby are to blame for such a high expectations from the world. The measurements of care is a terrible thing but it is necessary because many are exploiting, not very genuine in their ways and that is why art comes in to the rescue, it is the only one that doesn’t measure, but gives the world of an artist, to the world, it is like a dust turned into a star turned into a meaningful thought. Dream dreamed on 10th of August/8 and 9th lunar first after the solo exhibition Today’s dream is all about the existential search for meaning, inner voices so prominently asking questions, reflections on the past, I think since dreams are the cloaked meanings of our lives that subconscious creates, I am going to cloak this one into a story, a fable. It is the first comprehensible since the solo exhibition in Beijing because I was way to exhausted to dream for a week. The story starts in the core of darkness, a mysterious place in the middle of the forest where all the magical creates assemble for a meeting and discussions. There are unicorns, chimeras, fauns, hydras, leprechauns, fairies,…. However the most magical of all is not a living creature but a thing, it is comprised of gold and is empty on the inside, it is neither a box nor a ball, it is hardly visible where it goes, it creates confusion and makes people forget their purpose. It infiltrates into the life at the moment when the internal sense of purpose of a victim is weak. That is exactly what happened at one point on this planet when the golden thing was released in the wild because the magical creatures of the forest stopped guarding it. Everything started innocently but since this place has so many caverns, and inhabitants have an interest in nature and wonders of the underworld, the thing touched the lives and confused the purpose. Life became too chaotic and hedonistic but without evil intent, and just like the laws of physics will not allow the Apple to fall into the sky, the laws of retributions will not allow the innocent to fall into the black hole, so genetics came into power, or whatever it is that conducts the genetics and created a human that can break this link, or a chain rather. It took many years, but finally the victim and the villain fell crushing down to Earth and had to reinvent themselves, find the purpose once again. The echo of a voice in the air was saying will you go to Norin again,…. The answer is no, but we don’t have to go, we move all the time and next stage is all about the traveling through and around Beijing as I discover different things to see. The train rushing, the snow approaching, seeing through the fog of the future, the feeling stays but the objects are yet to be unlocked, end of dream in the anticipation of what happens next
Ideasrexoid 72 Bird, forced self after Centaurus aimed high, Acrylic on canvas 2020
Dream dreamed on 17th of August/16th lunar day Forest, the silence of the night, I am wondering and I see people surrounding my life right now, going their own way, somehow the forest is symbolized in all the connections, the branches and the trees are intertwined around this strange creatures called humans. Humans have dominated earth and now even trees are fitting in the empty space around the humans. Nothing wants to interfere, it will feel lonely for humans soon. The invention happens at the intersection of things, rarely in the sterile environment of a laboratory. I am out of the forest and into the building, there is a lot of confusion and interpersonal misunderstanding, one of the friend is lamenting the fact that he has to entertain the guests, it feels so unnatural. We are in 22nd century everything is operated by the robots, the comfort is final, we have regulated our ethics, behavior is all about self awareness. I go with friends into the mountains. We sit in the car, but they insist to keep the break and steering wheel in the back of the car where we are sitting and front sits to be empty. I am confused and concerned about the safety but as I see the wires for breaks and wheel extending comfortably I override the internal unsettling. We go into the mountains, there is a celebration in one of the restaurant, a strange dates are going through my head, a mystery of November. People are taking pictures and the flashlight wakes me up to this different realm we all share but we are still in the 21st century here. Contemplating on the sense of self and a Dream dreamed on 3rd of September/4th lunar day Darkness is everywhere, the depth of existing on this planet, the depth where the firmament of life is, why does it have to be so dark? We always try to navigate ourselves through life with our emotions, but it is not easy to sense emotions when the senses are devoid of sensations. We live in this world of struggle between our self and outside reality which is also determined by our self. Maybe it is a good thing that there is darkness around, there is a beautiful aesthetic to it, it is not a kind of darkness that makes us depressed or melancholic towards the times past, it is just a pure, transforming darkness of the universe. It is the place where our minds have to focus much more than our senses. We discover something special every time we plunge deeply into the depth. My dream starts with the darkness but then gradually I see, distinguish people around, artists and organizers, we are all sitting around the table discussing about something, a project, an initiative to change the world, and then suddenly I see other people who are not in the world of art discussing about shoes and clothes and fashion, it is something that they see as art in the absence of the time required to understand art. Fashion is so accessible and it is kept simple so that people’s reactions are much easier predicted that way. I am now thinking about time, a train is going and coming all the time, it feels like I am waiting for someone but I don’t know who,…. the dream finishes
Ideasrexoid 73 Ideasrexoid 73 Sneak in from the past, because gravity changes time, Acrylic on hard paper 2020
Contemplation on the essence the last few days and a Dream dreamed on 10th of September/ 11th lunar day The last few week, like every turn into a new season, especially autumn I have been thinking and rethinking the fundamentals of life and this lead me especially to contemplate about the presence of otherworldly intelligence. Where we are and where they are, maybe around us, maybe parallel to us but we can’t see them one thing is certain, my art is reflecting them but only in half of the sincerity. The only way out is in and finding the otherworldly within is something that always fascinated me. It got me thinking about the connections to what we define as others, because what if we exist in many places at once, what if what we perceive now is only a partial elements from all the other selves that exist in so many places simultaneously. What if it goes even further and the self represents all living creatures? My dream: A community of artists, a sense of belonging, a competition, but it is not a real competition it is a parody on competitions, we are all doing things, mundane activity and then there is a joke about life and training and all the games and levels we have to go through. Suddenly I am transported somewhere, it is like a teleportation, it is almost illogical I am at two places at once and I see nature, I am in a moving house existing on the plane between space and time. It doesn’t impose on the space that belongs to everyone so that the territorial boundary doesn’t have to be established, it is in between where the infinite possibilities exist because time doesn’t limit or even transform. I see the life moving next to me, with all the brightness and darkness, softness and violence, nature is dancing through animals and humans are searching, experimenting, interacting, fighting and observing. Now I see a lion, it is approaching and wants to come into this place, where the artists are, but this lion is a friendly sort, it is there just for food. Somebody closes the door and we press the button to teleport it outside further away, the dream ends. Short contemplation about life and Dream dreamed on 20th of September 21st lunar day A mountain, freshness of the air, infinity to be found in the shapes on the horizon but also the mysteriousness in the fog, just admiring the world from the point of view above, and then I start seeing people. A reoccurring theme, they are not just them, but they are me too, incredible unity, somehow this doesn’t allow me to even think badly let alone do something. I am at the artist residency on top of the mountain, artists are everywhere creating and building and struggling with the inner demons vs outer demons, the world that doesn’t want to welcome them. They are too weird and outside of the conventions, there is so much that has to be resolved before one can enjoy life, it is a series of tests and tasks to accomplish. Even Buddhism teaches this way, and for them life is not just something wonderful it is a series of events of struggles, trying harder all the time an in pursuit of purity of thoughts. I am at the piano practicing a passage from Debussy or maybe it is a Barber, it is difficult to know, the composers use a maze and fill in the structure like pieces of a puzzle, it is all about patterns and even more patterns. The piano is somehow outside on a slope, and I start feeling sick, others at the residency are concerned but not in a serious way, we all know this is just a phase. I look around and see a shocking scene, artists have started to do acrobatics around the place and some of them involved flying in a small boats, only through use of high speed and height. It is very frightening and I am trying to get them to stop, but it is like a circus, everyone is in their own world, impossible to command. I see that they eventually retire as the day is approaching it’s conclusion, so I go back to my studio and the dream finishes.
Ideasrexoid 74 Heaviness of Heaven on Earth, Acrylic on canvas 2020
Dream dreamed on 11th of October/13th lunar day It is a maze of buildings, they are all covered in fabric and breathing, as if the time and space is easily twisted, I see a dog eating just in my room, but it is not my room it is the street, then I see a person who is at least 2000 km away walking by again overlapped for a moment with my space time. We are doing some project, I still don’t know who is we, but it is a collaboration, exploring the world, going ahead of time. A chase with time but it is the softest elements that seem to be able to conquer, it is a mystery why and how but it seems to be happening that way. I am sitting and suddenly I see so much light as if I have an insight into the way universe explodes, it is only visual insight though, and it is extremely limited, seeing is not understanding. A road to understanding is paved with years of effort, learning and connecting many dots together. Understanding different context, different backgrounds, cultures, seeing through the illusion of media. Everyone wants to make an influence and when the influence can be bought, it is not a real influence, it is a calculation that drags down like a gravity. Something that doesn’t have a pure motif will eventually sink, into the forgetfulness. Dream dreamed on 27th of October 2019/28th lunar day – final minutes The sea, the childhood memories, turning around me, a voice here, a voice there, so many people passing through life, only fragments embedded in the pattern formations of what we call memory is left. One moment I am surrounded by the people who no longer exist/share the contemporary time, which makes me question once again the concept of contemporary. What is it? A dream within a dream, a false sense of Now comprised of everything before. How do we have an experience of now that is pure, that hasn’t been polluted by the past, is the past polluting or making us richer, multidimensional beings. I see an elevator like so many times before, it leads to some mysterious corner of my subconscious. That is at least what they say about elevators and the interpretation of it in the dreams in our modern old age. One of the elevator leads to a skull, not any skull, it is a drawing of the most fantastic design I have ever seen, I get closer and realize that it is not human, there are two drawings, one is of a human skull and another is of an alien. It shares some features with the human but it is much better designed, it has incredible elegance. Almost like a spaceship, and the material it is designed on is not a paper, it is a material that can change shapes, nano technology powered structure, shaping and reshaping before our eyes but communicating the essence. It starts talking to me and tells me something that I know is true from the way human brain operates. “Every brain cell contains the information of every other brain cell, and so does humanity, every human contains the information of every other human”. This echoes in my brain as the design fades away. At the same time I see the design of a modern human so that the comparison is stronger. This fades away also, I am left to wonder and then I am zoomed back on Earth with the most desperate setting imaginable. It is the future of a few people that I know who closed themselves away from the world, got connected to nature but not through the ability to wonder but ability to exploit. The light in their eyes had become bitter and violent, hating the surrounding, holding tightly onto the wooden logs, providing shelter against cold. It seems as if for them this is something sacred, to be warm while the world is cold outside. Something vicious is happening as they start to insult me, they are responding to something in me so foreign in them that they hate it in them and in me. The ghostly look on the faces reappear every so often and I feel like I have entered the world of Dickens. The dream finishes with the focus on the Alien skull, the map of this new kind of intelligence that is either foreign from another world, dimension or planet or it just presents the future of humans that augment themselves through technology.